Lockdown sparks and sex after 60: ‘The meeting of minds is a great aphrodisiac’

In her Guardian article Elizabeth Quinn writes that “a new partnership at 60 has the potential to be as exciting and adventurous as anything we experienced in our youth. The early stages of a relationship are usually the most passionate, and the breaking news is that this is true for couples of all ages. Newly minted older couples have an added advantage: a complete absence of the weight of societal expectations. They don’t have to purchase joint property – they don’t even have to live together if they don’t want to. In our 60s, we have the luxury of being able to eschew the search for good genes in favour of companionship, common interests and a shared future. Our innate biological drive is not to reproduce but to make a connection. And if we’re lucky, it will be the kind where sparks fly.”

I am old enough to have forgotten the difficulties of dating when younger or more likely blocked out much of the discomfort and angst involved in plucking up courage to talk to a girl face to face or pass a note through an intermediary which had it’s own dangers when handed around and any sniggering at the back of the class would be construed as mockery. However I have teenage daughters and social media has played and even bigger part in their lives in lockdown. It’s easy to like a post, make a positive comment which is actually de rigeur and arguments can happen if friends don’t respond appropriately! Actually one daughter has become ‘involved’ with a boy in the year above at school having done no more than shyly smile at each other previously and since all contact has been on-line. My other daughter hooked up with a boy and started an exclusive relationship which only ended with the reality of being over 100 miles apart, in lockdown and having never actually met. This of course made meeting, getting to know one another and breaking up far easier than in my day!

My first wife (I call her that just to keep her on her toes!) and I met in the early days of computer dating albeit much of it was a sham and paper driven – given away by the introductory typed document that described her as Eyes:Blonde, Hair;Blue – obviously one not to be passed over – in those days there was no swiping left or right but either make the call or screw up the paper and throw it in the bin! However, it was successful for us both in different ways. She was my first date – total = 3, She was SO ‘successful’ that she was given a rolling free membership, I’m sure in part due to what she wrote under ‘Activities I would like to participate in’ . . .  ‘Open to suggestions’!  – She had the best value with scores of dates and as I’ve been told ‘You have to kiss a lot of frogs to find your handsome prince!’

So, learning from teens and getting on-line at any age with the added safety of hiding behind lockdown whilst sounding out each other seems a good idea for singles at any age.

 

Where next? Well, SEX obviously! Forget those ‘gross’ thoughts you may have had as a teen thinking that your parents might actually be doing IT!

Sex between consenting adults happens at all ages and some say is more fun without all the angst of pregnancy, peer pressure etc etc.

Have a look at Taboo #6 Sex where I concentrate more on the act rather than the preamble! 

Do older people have sex? Really? YES REALLY! In fact, evidence suggests that it is the young who are having less sex whist the rise of Sexually Transmitted Diseases (STDs – and thus presumably more sex with more partners?!) is on the rise in the older generations! This could well be because today’s young people are well-educated about sexually transmitted infections, porn is never more than a few clicks away and they don’t need sex to entertain them thanks to the likes of social media. (No physical intimacy with your face staring at a screen!) Also, and this could be relevant to those with adult children, many still live at home. (15 percent of 20- to 24-year-old Americans haven’t done the deed since the age of 18, compared to only six percent of Generation X-ers when they were the same age. I only include this as there is the popular belief that the young are at it like rabbits whilst the older generations just don’t!)

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